Happy New Years to you!!!!!

Here's wishing you a very happy new year!!!! I wish you could be home to celebrate with me, but just know that I am thinking about you. At least I can say that I will see you in this new year!!! :) And that makes me very happy! Hopefully this time next year, we will be beginning anew, together. I see really good things happening to both of us in the next few years! So that means you better stay safe over there so you don't make a liar out of me...lol....I love you with all my heart and soul! Muah!

The new me!! :)

Hi baby! Here is my new haircut! I really like it. I can't wait to style it tomorrow. Love you so much and I miss you!!!! Muah!!! :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I am hoping you have a wonderful Christmas baby! I know it is going to be hard being away from home, but just remember you have so many people that love you and are rooting for you. And there is always me, your #1 supporter and fan!! :) I love you so much and wish you were here. Next year we will be together, and the reason for this blog will be a memory. Hugs and kisses from me to you! MUAH!!! :)

I MISS YOU BUNCHES AND BUNCHES!!!!!!!!!!! AND I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

Awww.........:)

I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing that everything is alright
To the core
So close that door
Is this happening?

My breath is on your hair
I'm unaware
That you opened the blinds and let the city in
God, you held my hand
And we stand
Just taking in everything.

And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
But Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away.

So we talked about mom's and dad's
About family pasts
Just getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display
For all to see
I can't believe this is happening to me and,
I raised my hands as if to show you that I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking and
That's when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me... here

And I knew it from the start
So My arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
But Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away

I'll try to sleep
To keep you in my dreams
'Till I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep
And when I do I'll keep you in my... dreams

And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
And your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
So here we are
On this 18th floor balcony.....

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN AND KISS AND LOVE ON YOU!!!!

What a day!!! (I think for both of us...)

Wow! What a day!!! I never thought it would end. I woke up late for starters. Got to work finally. All day long the kids were asses. They are adjusting for Christmas break a few days early I assume. I didn't take my xanax until noon, so my nerves were shot by 8:30. It was so crazy! I totally forgot to do my timesheet, those damn purchase requests had to be done by the time I left today. Tara and I couldn't figure them out, so it was that much more stressful! I have never been so stressed over a stupid Christmas program as I am right now! We finally got them done, but who knows if they are right! lol...The potluck we had was nice....I actually got to bring home most of the potatoes I made because another teacher made a big ass pot of them at school. (but everyone that ate mine said they were the best) :) I didn't get to work out again today because I got home too late. My sister is stressing me out about Christmas Eve with my dad again, but I think my dad and I finally got it figured out (this coming Monday) and Dylan's dad is okay with bringing him down so we can celebrate Christmas Eve with my dad and stepmom early. Hopefully my sister won't change her plans....(which is very well possible) Well, I am talking to you right now on the phone, so I guess I will end this here. I love you so much and miss you even more. I hope you have sweet dreams. Muah!!!

It may take a while...but it will get here.

It may seem really far away, but the finish line will be seen in the distance before you and I know it. I know we can do this. We have to believe in each other and work on our issues while we can. That way we can spend time when you get home being normal and not so "screwed up" like we were last time. I know you are really stressed out. I hate it for you. I really hope things start letting up for you sometime soon. I hate knowing that you are feeling like you are. Don't worry about me here. I will be fine. I have been through this before. My life will not stop. I will continue working and being Dylan's mom. I will (as I already do) miss you like crazy, but what can I do....nothing. I can just count down the days until you get home. Hopefully, after you get back, this going off for a year shit will stop. I love you and hope you have a good night. You know I am not feeling well, but if it continues I will go to the doctor next week. I know what they will want to do...an MRI. I can't afford it and that is why I think it will be a wasted trip to the doctor. But I will. With my health history, headaches and dizziness, along with confusion is never a good sign. Have a good night. Miss you.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...................

It is soooo cold outside!!! But in just a few short months, we will hopefully be able to enjoy this (see above picture)!!! :) I love you so much and miss you more each minute of each day. It hasn't been but 5 days since I have seen you, but it seems like forever already. I know you are a little down tonight, but hopefully you can cheer up soon. And as for my motivation, it is to be happier and healthier for when you get home. That way I can be myself again, and we can build on a beautiful, lasting relationship. So, if you can find that same motivation, then I think we will be good. Just remember how good working out makes you feel about yourself. I bet when you get overseas you will have time to start working out again. And if they don't give you that time, make it for yourself. I love you and think about you often. Muah!!! :)

Snow without me??? Not even the same......

I can't believe you get to see snow without me...:( that makes me sad. But here is what I would do if I was there with you....enjoy the beautiful snow, and think about me......xoxoxoxo......

Boo-Hoo....:(

I miss you already. You are getting closer to your destination, but I just want you back here. Today was horrible. The kids at school were assholes, and I could have just walked out and took a personal day and wouldn't have looked back. I wish last night did not have to end. It hit me this morning when I woke up I won't see you again for a very long time. I just wonder why it didn't hit me until then. Maybe that was God's way of making it easier on you and I last night. We were able to enjoy a great day and be with each other, without sadness, but more laughter and smiles to give to each other. I love you so much, and hope you are getting a little sleep on the bus. I hope tomorrow is a lot better for me. Today might have sucked, but it is over now, and all I can wish for is a better Friday. Miss you tons, and wish I could give you a kiss and be in your arms right now.....but I can't, so I guess I will do notes. Yuck. Muah.

3 More Days.....or 4 if your stupid class keeps you up too late....

I am so spoiled being able to talk to you and text you throughout the day. It is sometimes hard to write things on here when I have already told you, or let you know what has happened throughout my day. I know the time will come soon that it will get easier to fill this blog up, because I won't be so spoiled. I hope you had a great day and are having a good night. I love you and miss you, but only a few days more and we will be able to spend a little time together. Muah...oh, and by the way....If you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you.

So you would be okay with this....it would save loads of money!! :)

Hmmmm....could this work?? We wouldn't have a water bill, an electic bill, or a cable bill. Only thing is that I might get DHS called on me. So maybe it is not such a good idea........lol

Not my own quote, but it works, and it is so true....

"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists.... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence."

I miss you. Not too much longer than I won't miss you while you are here. And then not too much longer after that, I will begin missing you again...for a long time. A year. Which seems like forever. But maybe not. What is 12 months really? A lifetime? Or just enough time to better ourselves so we will be better for each other when you get home for good and to make this second chance work perfectly?

Look familiar???? LOL!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know I couldn't let this one go!!! :) Love you! Hope you get some much needed rest tonight!! Miss you so much.....

UGH!!!!!!

This has been just a really bad day for me! The best part was sitting in the library at Lakeside watching Dylan reading a book before he took an AR test. I have felt so pressured today to do so much. I am so ready to unwind and just go to bed. I hope your day has been better than mine. I got a little bit of a workout in. I did the treadmill for 30 minutes and did 250 jumps with the jump rope. I felt a little better after doing that. I know it is probably going to be a long night with my notes and all, but I have no motivation to even do those at this point. I may just have a "fuck it" night and not do them. All of our kids are going home at 1:30 tomorrow so hopefully I can get my notes done early and have an early night tomorrow. I love you and sorry I am in a pissy mood. I guess we all deserve to have a few every now and again. Miss you every day.......

Yeah, I pretty much love you....

It is crazy at times for me to think that me and you are back together. It doesn't even seem like it has almost been two years that have gone by that we were not together. All those times we spent time together and we let time slip through our hands once again. I guess that it just wasn't the right time. I am so thankful we are giving each other another chance. You make my life feel right. Again. But this time it feels a little different. Maybe it is because I am a little older. Maybe it is because I didn't know what I lost until it was gone. But whatever the reason, I think we have a fighting chance at forever. I love you and am going to miss you so much. I already do. And it has only been 11 days since I have seen you or touched you or kissed you. I remember watching you walk out the hotel room door 11 days ago. My heart dropped at that moment. But I am ready for this deployment you are going on. I am just ready for when you get back for good. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

It is only starting....you haven't even left the state yet.

This is going to be a long year, but I think we may have some exciting things happen to us when you get back......

Not me so horny... rather me so sleepy

Hey baby...Just wanted to post a little something on here before I go to sleep. I have had a really crappy day. Being sore made me want to be in my bed all day and just sleep. I couldn't do much at work. Eating cereal this morning made me look like a window licker. I couldn't even bring my spoon up to my mouth. I got more milk on my shirt than in my mouth. It was a Kodak moment I am sure....Hopefully tomorrow I will feel better and won't hurt as much. I was so proud of myself today at the gym. I walked/ran 4 miles and then got on the bike and did another 4 (almost 5) miles. It felt so good. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to do some weights. I have my orientation over the equipment at 4:20, so I am not sure how much I will be able to get in. It was cool because I got to watch Dylan play in the gym while I did my last 1/2 mile on the track. He was showing me how he kicked the ball to his friend. I think I may start liking this working out thing. I haven't gotten much sleep the past two nights because I couldn't get comfortable, but hopefully tonight will be better. I got a good bubble bath in and I just stretched a lot, so maybe I will wake up tomorrow feeling more refreshed than today. I can't wait to talk to you in the morning. I hope you had a great day and have sweet dreams. I love you so much and miss you more each day you are gone. Not too much longer and I can see you again. Muah!!!!

LOVE MAKES EVERYTHING SO LOVELY.........:) MUAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Jello is hitting a little too close to home today....

So, my first day at the YMCA went ok, at least while I was there. I was surprised that I am on the corporate plan with Community Counseling, which meant I had no joining fee (yay) and that instead of $34 a month, I will only pay $28.75 a month. I knew there was something good about working there! I walked in to the gym clueless and overwhelmed on where to even start. One of the fitness people helped me out and really showed me the best options I had to start on reaching my goal. I did the elliptical for 25 minutes, and then did an hour or so of different weight machines. When I was doing the ab exercises, I started to feel sick. I told him I was fixing to "yak." So, now my arms feel like lead, and I have still been sick to my stomach all day. Oh, and I left my jacket up there. Pretty sure that will be gone tomorrow when I go to do some cardio. I have my orientation on Tuesday night, and I will schedule my fitness eval for three weeks. I am pretty motivated at this point. I have no reason to NOT go up there since I have to pick Dylan up everyday anyways. For a few weeks, I am hoping you will continue to get on me about going, especially if I feel unmotivated during that time. I want to be healthy and feel better about myself when I look in the mirror. It is mostly for me, but also for you, so I can feel more confident when you give me compliments. But right now, I feel like I am wanting to yak again, so I will end this post here. Good times....

Four lucky little boys to have you in their lives....

You have this blog, now all you need is poppy seed chicken...

Well, the start of the blog you requested while you are away is here!! I have gotten quite spoiled being able to text and talk to you everyday the past week. I know it will get harder to communicate that way with you in a few weeks, but that is why I am excited to do a blog for you again. You will be able to keep up with me and feel closer to me, even though you will be so far away in miles, but not in my heart. I am so thankful that we are giving each other this second chance. It has been a crazy ride, but I really feel it will begin to slow down and we can just sit back and enjoy the views. I can't wait until Thanksgiving week to see you and spend some time with you before you leave. You will be very missed.