My pretty yard....and my dead azalea bush. RIP.

Welcome Spring

Bad girlfriend...:(

Gosh, it has been over a month since I last did a blog post for you. What a horrible girlfriend I am. I am so ashamed. Well, anyways, I am so glad that I was able to talk to you this morning. It was very nice hearing your voice. I could get used to doing that at least once a week. If not, then maybe every other week. I know you will probably want to use your morale calls for others besides me, and that is okay. I totally understand. But I will take what time I can get. It has been a pretty worthless day for me. It is 745 and I still have done no notes. I guess that is what happens when you just don't care anymore. My computer system for work can eat shit. CCS can eat shit for that matter. But I have a job, so I really can't complain. I am so proud of you for your savings. That is so great to hear. I know it makes you feel good that you have already saved that much. Now if I can keep you from breaking up with me for those five days and you dropping 20k on a ridiculous motorcycle....:)

Happy Valentines Day!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!! Maybe we can't be together today, but hopefully we can make up for it this summer!!! (you know what I mean???) lol....Seriously, it is not just this day that I am thanking God you are back in my life and my heart is filled with love for it, it is everyday. Dylan asked me today who my Valentine was, and before I could say anything, he said,"I am just kidding. I know it is definitely Kevin!" He is so right. I love you so much and miss you every minute of every day. I knew I was signing up for this deployment with you in a way. And even though I hate it with a passion, I know someday soon we will be together with no disruptions like we are now. You have my heart and I know I have yours. Have a wonderful day! Muah!!!

:(

I am so sorry that you have felt isolated. I am really trying my best. It has been a very scary week for me. I hope you know that I appreciate your concern for me. I know it has to be hard to be halfway around the world and not really knowing what is going on with me. I don't want you to spend you time worrying about me, but I know you will. That is how love goes. I am scared, and I have had my wake up call. I told Dr. Baltz that I don't drink, do drugs, or party. I take my medicine like I am supposed to and just lead a normal life, being a good mom and trying to make money to support me and Dylan. I guess I just stress myself out with out really knowing it. So that has to stop, or things can get bad. This week has been my wake up call. It is really crazy how the body tells you things. I don't want to feel this way ever again. I hope my stroke symptoms subside soon. It is a terrible, incredibly uncomfortable feeling. I just have to accept I am a sick person, who has a blood disorder that can strike without me knowing it and without warning. It is like I try to do my best to control it, and it backfires on me. I miss you and wish you could be here while I am going through it. I am very lucky to have a wonderful family who has been here with me every step of the way this week. And I am very lucky to have you who sends his concerns across the miles. I am sorry again, and know I don't mean to leave you out. I am trying my best. Please believe that.

Before I got so sick...

Well, this picture was taken on Sunday, before I got sick. Now, my skin color is so pale. :( I still feel really shaky, and numb. Just not a good time for me right now. I slept for a long time today. I tried to do some notes, but my hands just aren't cooperating. It is taking me a pretty long time to type this right now. I called Shane and said I wouldn't be in tomorrow. Feeling pretty weak and still have a killer headache. I am going to see Dr. Baltz Thursday. I hope he can tell me something, because the stupid people at the ER didn't. I hope he will refer me to a headache specialist. Something has to give. I am so tired of feeling like this. It has been four days of hell for me. I hope you have a nice day. I miss you and love you.

I think I miss you more each day...

I sure miss you. I feel like we haven't been able to talk lately. I know alot of that is on me. Some has been technology, but whatever it has been, I just miss you. I miss your touch, your face, your silliness, your sweet voice, YOUR KISSES, your hugs, your love. I hope you are doing okay over there. This week has been kind of crazy for me. I am so ready for this weekend. I have no plans but to coach and to get my oil changed, but that is alright with me. I just want to relax. I will probably go work out Sat and Sun. I worked out the past two days and worked my ass off. It felt good. I was about to leave today to go work out, but Dylan went home with his buddy David, and was supposed to stay until 630, but his mom called before 5 and said Dylan accidentally hit David in the head with a golf club while they were hitting golf balls. His parents had to take him to the Express Clinic to get him checked out. Dylan feels horrible about it! :( I think he will be okay though. It was a pretty big cut, but I just reminded Dylan that accidents happen all the time. Well, I need to go and read Dylan's books with him. He started his patch club this week, so he has more books to read so he can take tests to earn his patch for this 9 weeks. I love you and miss you so much. Muah!!

:)

Sooo...it's been a while.....

Hey baby. Sorry it has been awhile since I last posted. I have been spending today letting Dylan get comfortable. His poor neck is still hurting him really bad. He has been counting on my attention and love a lot today. I guess that is understandable. I hope you slept well. I was so cold last night. I couldn't get comfortable, so needless to say, I am pretty tired tonight. I am going to go on and take him to the doctor in the morning. If it is just a crick, great, but if not, I don't want to further delay treatment that he can be getting. We have had a pretty busy weekend. The party went well. We had a lot of fun. Hopefully next year you can be at his 9th birthday party. My mom asked me about what to send to you in a care package. Any ideas? I miss you terribly, but each day gets so much easier. One more day closer to seeing you again. I hope you get to find out when your exact days are when you will be home in the summer so we can start planning on what we are going to do. Virginia Beach? Somewhere else? Just let me know when you can. I know it is still a bit too early, but just whenever. Ms. Crystal rented her house out. They move in on the 15th of February. It is a couple (a nurse she works with and her husband) and their 3 girls. They go to Lakeside. I wonder if Dylan will know them. So glad she rented it to some good people. She said she is looking into buying that shithole across the street to flip it and sell it. I hope she can do that. That will help my property value go up or at least stay the same. That is the one eye sore on this street. Well, I am going to get Dylan in the bath to soak before he goes to bed. Just wanted to let you know I have not forgot about this blog. I love you with my whole heart and hope you are doing well over there. By the way, I saw where you and Dylan were chatting while I was asleep this morning. It was so cute to read. I can't believe he wrote LOL....:) Love you lots! Muah!!!!

Saturdays aren't the same without you here...

This picture brings back such good memories for me from before you left. I had such a great night that night. Carving pumpkins was so fun. The boys were happy, you and I were happy, and we were all together. I watched a movie today that reminded me of you and I and our relationship. It was called "Going the Distance." Obviously about a long distance relationship. I miss you so much, and keep thinking of hugging you and kissing you when you get home this summer. I know it will only be a short time you will be here, but that is okay. Because you won't be on this deployment forever. I love you so much and hope you are sleeping well. Missing you like crazy. That won't stop. Muah!

This girl misses you like crazy!

Hey baby! Hope you slept well last night. I am ready for bed tonight. I worked really hard today to get all my notes done from last week. So now I have nothing to do tomorrow on my 4th day off!!! :( I guess I will clean some closets off and get ready to take some clothes to the shelter this weekend. Do my good deed for the day....I have such bad cabin fever. It is horrible. I am glad Dylan is going to be able to go back to school tomorrow. It is time. Really. I hope you have a better day today than what it seemed like yesterday for you. I really hate you are getting stressed out. I know it has to be hard. I couldn't do it. I really admire you for doing what you are doing. I know you really have no choice, but still. I admire you. I miss you like crazy and love you so much. I laid in bed last night thinking of ways that I could add on this house to make a master bedroom and bathroom, and to make the living room bigger. Just a thought. My mind has been doing all kinds of roller coaster rides lately. Oh, well, Nothing I am not used to....Muah.

It's official... because it is written in snow!! :)

Skylar's Party

KEVIN the fish

Beta, Beta, Beta!!!

So.....Dylan and I went to get his new fish for his aquarium. At first we were going to get some guppies or neons, but then I would have had to buy a heater, and another pump, so we settled on a beta. He is a very pretty blue, with red on his fins. Dylan decided on a name.....and it is KEVIN!!! lol.....Seriously. I am not kidding! That just proves to you that he misses you terribly. I thought maybe Roscoe or Swimmer, but he didn't think much of those names. So, you now have a swimming animal named after you.:0) We went to Skylar's birthday party. Dylan had a lot of fun. It was good to see the boys again. All the kids were riding their scooters, playing basketball, and playing football. Talon, Dylan, and Hayden played football. They all did really well. I had never seen Talon run like that! lol...I was very social with their mom and grandma. They were cordial and very nice to me. I felt no tension whatsoever. Because believe me, I was nervous as hell driving up to the park. Skylar loved his bat and balls! He didn't open them up until today at the party. All the kids were playing baseball at first after he opened it up. And then leave it to my hard hitting kid to crack both of the plastic balls. I felt so bad. I just told their mom to get some Woofle balls to make up for it. She was cool about it. He also loved his basketball game I got him from you. I think I ended up doing well. I was worried about nothing...I miss you so much. I am sorry I was a little sad on the phone earlier today. Just when you said you weren't going to ask me to send care packages anymore made me upset. I want to do that for you. I might not be able to afford to send you much each time, but this is a way that I can support you and help my time waiting on you to go by faster. I like doing it for you. I told you I want to be your biggest supporter. And I intend to continue to do that. If you really don't want me to, please let me know, and I won't. But I won't be happy about it..:( I love you more than words can say. You are in my thoughts all the time. I want to be with you when you get home, and in 10 years, and when we are 70 too. I hope you feel the same. I got mixed feelings on the phone with you. I know you said that you didn't mean it how it sounds, but the way I heard it concerned me. But you reassured me I guess. I just want to know that you really want to be with me. I love you and know you feel the same. If you ever feel unsure, please let me know. In my mind, everyday, I am thinking of how our life can be when you get home. Debt or no debt. I will love you no less. Well, I am going to let you go. I have no idea when you will get this, but I hope soon. Have a nice day baby. I am about to go to bed. I am thinking Dylan and I won't be able to go to LR tomorrow to babysit Maddie. It is supposed to start snowing tomorrow around noon, and get worse tomorrow night. I think it may snow about 3-5 inches if the forecast is correct. Muah!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!

I miss you

how are you doing? i'm feeling better. i got all A's in school. I miss wreseling with you. love dylan

Don Juan's ain't got nothing on me!!!!!

Yes, I did make tacos tonight, and damn were they scrumptuous!!!! :)
I had a crazy day today. Mrs. Chandler was in and out, so I couldn't be too close to my phone. I swear she has a cell phone radar. It is pathetic. I am sorry that I couldn't respond much to your emails. I feel so bad about that. But I got every one of yours, and they all made me smile. There is some crazy shit going on at work, and Shane is coming out tomorrow morning. Can't wait. (being so f***ing sarcastic right now)I have basketball practice tomorrow night. I had to work late today, so hopefully I will get to go and work out tomorrow. It was almost 60 degrees out tonight. Felt very nice. It is so crazy how much you are on my mind every day. I think constantly about when you get back, and how our life is going to be. I can't wait for you to come home for good. I know I have a long time to wait, but every day is sooner than the one before. I am hoping to go to sleep early tonight. I haven't been sleeping too well lately. But that is nothing new. I love you so much and miss you more and more each day. You are my heart, and what I want to be my future. Muah!

MUAH!!!!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to let you know I am loving you and missing you as always!!! Hope you slept well! LOVE YOU MORE!!!!

Ugh, gotta go back to work tomorrow. :(

Hey baby,
Well, I hope you had sweet dreams and that you got rested up. I am praying that your day is better than the last. I dread going back to work tomorrow. I hate that place. I know I won't sleep at all tonight and will toss and turn about the dread I feel. But I gotta do it. Bills have to be paid..:) I hope you aren't too upset at me for what I got Skylar. I think he will like what I get him. I added it up and it would have been around $140 if I would have gotten him the bat, glove, balls, and a baseball hat. And if you are upset, I understand. I just did what I thought was more reasonable for a 7 year old's birthday. If Amanda has something stupid to say about it, just blame it on me. I don't care what she thinks about me. But I do care how you feel, so I am sorry if I disappointed you. :( I love you with every beat of my heart and can't wait to see you again. It is going to be a long time, but each passing day is one day closer to having you in my arms. I am really hoping the next 6 months goes by quickly. If not, then I will deal with that as well. I think we could have it good when you get back. I am more grown up and ready to deal with outside factors. I hope you are too. I don't want to lose you again, ever. Well, I am about to go to bed. I love you and miss you more than you know. (well, you may know, because you are in this with me) Say a prayer that my tomorrow goes well. Muah!